In high school, I seriously did want this. I used to fall asleep to Conan’s monologue and wish I would become famous enough to appear on his show. Preferably for something quirky, so he could hiss and claw at me. (The post title is a quote from the awesome cheerleader/crime satire movie Sugar & Spice. It’s on cable all the time.)
I really dislike Jay Leno. My parents watch him often and laugh at his jokes, which I will never understand. His repertoire seems to consist of “America is fat, so-and-so is gay, and politicians are stupid.” First, you’re no spring chicken yourself, Jay; way to encourage homophobia among your many viewers; and, duh. I mean, the guy is still making Bill and Monica jokes! My parents went to see him live and allegedly he’s much slimmer in person, his big head just adds weight on camera.
I’ve never really gotten into David Letterman. He seems like the quintessential pervy old man to young female guests and never seems to know or care about most of his guest’s projects. But he’s at least funny sometimes and I respect anyone who gives Amy Sedaris regular airtime. Actually, Amy Sedaris would be an amazing late-night talk show host. I want to go to her house and bake cupcakes with her imaginary boyfriend.
But! Conan will be taking over Jay Leno’s show starting June 1st! I haven’t seen the show in a while, but given that I currently have no life, I will definitely be watching. My excitement is tempered because Leno has been given his own one-hour prime-time show before the evening news in the fall, but hopefully it will fail.